Nothin' But Trouble: Tunes

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Written for DELAWARE UNLEASHED 2006 produced by the Kent County Theatre Guild

Joe Biden Blues



Delaware politician, on every commission
A top foreign policy man
Chairs a mean inquisition, and holds his position
Got a mem'ry like Rainman

When the man got a mission, got no competition
He got all his bucks in a row
He's a master tactician you know
And his hair plugs hardly show

He's Joe Biden
J-O-E B-I-D-E-N
He's runnin' again

When he starts in to speechifying
He can go on from morning till night
If a Bork or a Thomas comes up for the Court
You can bet he'll be in on the fight

He knows everyone, heads of state, Oprah, Leno, the Pope
And Sylvester Stallone
He’s as social as ol’ Bill Clinton
(But) without the saxophone

He's Joe Biden, baby
J-O-E B-I-D-E-N
He's runnin' again

Give him your tired and your poor hungry folk
He gonna feed 'em well
Give him a wife-beatin' law-breakin' punk
And he'll find 'em a nice jail cell

Give him a Georgia, Iraq or Iran
You can bet that the man’s got a plan
Give him a problem that no one can solve
And he'll fix it on C-Span

He's Joe Biden, baby
J-O-E B-I-D-E-N
He got your tax reduction
Right here -- yeah baby, he's your man

He can gut a new corporate welfare bill
From here to kingdom come
He can crunch the numbers, spread goodwill
And be back for lunch at one

I got a bridge in Brooklyn says
There ain't nothing he can't do
He'll make a statesman out of Obama
And make a Democrat out of you

He's Joe Biden, baby
J-O-E B-I-D-E-N
Weapon of mass seduction
He ain't just any also-ran

©2006, 2008 Chris Polo